How did I get HERE?
I'm feeling rather contemplative today. At the moment, my inbox is full of logistics emails for upcoming things, including some really exciting stuff about a collaborative event with Instagram next week. I was scrolling through photos on my phone trying to find something, and came across photos from the Topshop event earlier in the year.. and then thought 'hold on... can we just stop a minute?' and there I sat, in my incredibly jolly office chair, lined with biscuit crumbs, taking a moment whilst preparing glitter for pouches and realised this year I've worked with/am working with 2 of the biggest brands in the UK.
Now this ain't a braggy post. I mean, that does look like a brag but it isn't... it's more of a WTF?! How did I get from being a girl in her bedroom, pursuing a card making hobby to this? I can give you the answer, in fact I can share a quarter by quarter (that's the retail buying background in me, working in quarters) journey of exactly what happened and when, but that's not for now. Maybe one day, if anyone is interested. But for now I just want to take a second to really appreciate it.
Running a business is hard. Running a business post-Brexit is even harder. Running a business next year? I'm losing sleep thinking about it already. Trading conditions this year have been the toughest since I started out, and I've found it's all about diversifying and trying out new things. One side note from this (and one to be continued) is that if you're doing your christmas shopping, PLEASE consider small businesses and shopping locally wherever you can, as it's very tough out there at the moment and every single order is appreciated.
Anyway, to go back to my question - how did I get here? I've read and listened to a lot about imposter syndrome and like most women (specifically, but plenty of blokes too, I'm sure) I get serious imposter syndrome when thinking about success. 'Success' is something that can be defined in many ways. It can be recognition, money, achieving goals, or simply getting through each week. I never set a goal of what success would look like, but on reflection, I'm very happy and to me this is success - having a job that fills me with joy, pays me enough to live my life and is going to exciting places.
And how? By slogging it out. By making mistakes, trying new things, putting myself out there, failing, worrying, believing, trying more new things, living on the breadline whilst funding it all myself, working with other people, standing in the cold selling my wares, contacting people, saying yes and working it out later, saying no and feeling empowered, using every penny to buy new equipment and learn how to use it, applying for things, being told no, being told yes, being invited to things, working our my finances and margins, finding my niche and riding it.
When I set out, I would have never dreamt of this working out in that way. So tonight, whilst sitting on the sofa frantically making pom poms for those previously mentioned pouches, I'm going to raise a glass to this. To celebrating those days when even though there's been some low moments, it feels like a win.